Like Dennis Nielsen, many of us are convinced that we can neutralise the revolting stench of rotting flesh by feebly placing a solitary Air Wick deodoriser on top of a pile of corpse-filled bin liners in the wardrobe of our dingy Muswell Hill flat. But deep down we know that we are deceiving ourselves. It doesn’t matter how loudly we listen to ‘Oh Superman’ and ‘Tubular Bells’ on our headphones in a whisky-sodden fucking torpor; the fact is, the drains are blocked with foaming man-meat and there are corpses everywhere. My name is Mr. Skeleton, I’m the new Editor, and you’ll find this *Special *Micro* Edition third installment of Ultraskull to be brimful of nuanced humour and wry observations. Don’t hesitate to contact me with your feedback and suggestions. You can email me at . I will reply as soon as I’ve polished off my tin of tasty, tasty Goblin Brand Hamburgers with Onion and Gravy:

And if I wasn’t eating that for my supper (an event which, I must stress, is very, very unlikely) I’d no doubt be wolfing down, with considerable gusto, a bowl of delicious Goblin Brand Steak and Kidney Sponge Pudding :

This issue of Ultraskull is sponsored by Simpson Ready Foods, the UK's leading suppliers of ready to eat foods, specialising in canned products, glass jars, pouches and pots and supplying most of the UK's leading retailers with a range of branded and private label products. This autumn sees Simpson Ready Foods setting its sights on an even bigger bite of the UK's 'RTE' category, with a £1 million investment in modernising its Manchester production site and moving into the production of microwavable desserts. This investment has already paid dividends, as Simpsons has recently been appointed to supply Asda with its 'Good For You' and standard microwavable sponge puddings. But the story isn't stopping there, as William Simpson, Simpson Ready Foods' Managing Director, told The Grocery Trader.